Self-Coaching Tip: Change the Questions You Ask Your Self

Sometimes knowing about the Law of Attraction gets me into trouble. I begin to measure my spiritual growth by what I'm attracting into my life. You know, getting caught in traffic means I'm harboring less than joyful emotions, lower back pain means I had a poor relationship with money, fighting with my ex means I'm spiritually lacking.

But, the Universe in it's infinite wisdom, finds a way to get me back on track. In this case, it happened while coaching a client. She was berating herself for attracting Candida into her life and trying desperately to figure out what she had done wrong. She knew she had done something wrong because she no longer felt connected to Spirit, no longer felt joyful and loving. In fact, she felt quite miserable and depressed.

And out of my mouth comes, "Why do you think being connected to Spirit means you're going to feel good?"

Now, when I'm coaching, I've set my Intention to let Spirit coach through me. So, when something like that question comes out, something that has no relation to what I believe, I know Spirit is speaking.

And when Spirit asks, I listen. Because these coaching sessions are not just about the client. I get coached by Spirit, too. And no matter what a client is working on, I know he/she is mirroring to me something I'm supposed to work on.

So, I set to work, clearing away some of my limiting beliefs about the Law of Attraction. I began by stopping myself from asking, "what am I doing wrong?" every time I got a migraine headache. That question dis-empowered me. It made me feel worse about myself.

Instead, I began asking, "what guidance am I receiving?" And, miraculously, the way I felt about myself changed. I became more accepting and loving about myself. And I realized the headache was guidance to take care of myself. From there, I struggled and finally learned how to give myself permission to stop driving myself to complete a task and take the time to nurture myself.

Change a Dis-Connecting Question to a Connecting Question

There are two kinds of questions we can ask ourselves when we are faced with challenges (contrast)—questions that connect us to our Soul/Source or questions that dis-connect us from our Soul/Source:

Disconnecting questions take us to automatic reaction, judgment, blame and a “win-lose” mind-set. These questions take us to the energy of judgment, pessimism, stress and limitations.

Our mindset becomes reactive, inflexible and judgmental. Our relationship with our Self and Source operates in an “attack or defend” mode. (e.g., What’s wrong with me? Whose fault is it? Why bother? How can I stay in control?)

Connecting questions allow us to manage our thought energies by focusing on solutions. These questions activate a “win-win” intention. Connecting questions shift our energy to vibrate optimism, hope and possibilities. Our mindset becomes thoughtful, flexible and accepting.

Connecting questions shift the energy of our relationship to Soul/ Source towards a collaborative and innovative mode. (e.g., What’s right with me? What are my choices? What action steps would be practical and strategic? What can I learn? What do I need?)

Whenever you notice your questions are disconnecting, take a moment to change it so you re-connect to your Soul.