Self-Coaching Tip: Look at the Expectations Behind Your Intentions

Recently I was asked to speak to a group of Life Coaches about the practical aspects of blending self-coaching and spirituality into their everyday lives. During the discussion, it became apparent that many of the participants were keeping their spiritual practice separate from the rest of their day.

They often spent up to an hour each day in meditation, yoga, and/or prayer. But, they relied on that hour of spiritual practice to carry them throughout the day, usually with less than positive results. Most days they experienced some sense of lack or fear that washed away the feelings of connection they experienced during their spiritual practice.

As we continued our discussion, they were surprised to find that any feelings of lack or fear could, without any effort on their part, completely affect the rest of their day. Why, they wondered, couldn’t they maintain their connection to Source as easily as they maintained their connection to lack or fear?

We revisited their spiritual practices and discovered that while carrying out their daily spiritual practice, they held a conscious or unconscious intention to connect to Source. This intention is often experienced as a prayer or invocation they use to begin their spiritual practice each day.

“What do you think might happen,” I asked, “if you set an intention before every task you do throughout the day?”

“But, how can I possibly stay connected to Source when I’m doing a task I hate, like answering email?” asked one participant.

That question led to the definition of Intention: how you want to feel while doing something. In their spiritual practice they wanted to feel connected to Source. When they allowed their aversions or apathy to navigate their day, they were unconsciously setting intentions that dis-connected them from Source.

Here are three ways you may be unconsciously setting intentions during the day:

• Intention as a Chore: this is the type of intention most of us have been taught to hold. How many tasks do you do each day because you have to: I have to pay the bills, do the dishes, finish this report, etc. Each time you tell yourself, you have to do something, you’ve set an intention. Each of us experiences ‘have to’ in different ways, but it is usually associated with a less-than-joyful emotion. You may feel a sense of burden or victimization or fear.

• Intention as a Choice: you activate this type of intention every time you make a choice to do or not do something. The reason behind your choice is the intention you’re setting. For example, “if I don’t pay the mortgage, I’ll lose my house” sets an intention to experience lack or fear.

• Intention as a Specific Outcome: this is the type of intention you activate whenever you want a situation to be resolved in a certain way. For example, “I will attract $100,000 over the next six months.” The difficulty with this type of intention is the judgment you may hold around yourself if the specific outcome doesn’t manifest itself. If the $100,000 doesn’t show up, you may feel as if you’re doing something wrong or you’re not sufficiently evolved enough to attract that much money.

Every minute of every day, you are setting an intention either consciously or unconsciously. You know, from your spiritual practice, how powerful a consciously set intention can be. When you begin to raise your awareness around your unconscious intentions, you can begin bring them into alignment with our overall intention to stay connected to Source.