Self-Coaching Tip: Play Every Day

As a child, I loved writing about distant planets, exotic aliens and grown-up, adventurous space-farers. But I got the details wrong. I didn't know enough of the world to recognize that cream puffs were not the breakfast of aliens or that clocks don't belong in prehistoric caves. The details were inaccurate, but I was connected to my passion for stories. I was alive and exploring my Authentic Self.

As I got older, details gained an even greater importance in my life. Now, ignoring details had consequences. Catholic school nuns insisted I learn my catechism or go to hell, classmates deconstructed my clothing style - or lack thereof - to determine my popularity, teachers demanded I behave or it would go on my "permanent record."

Eventually, I went off into the real world of adults, armed with an obsession over getting the details "right." Convinced the world would come to an end if I didn't arrive at work on time, pay the bills as soon as they arrived or iron the creases "just so" in my husband's shirts, I wrapped myself up in the "fear of consequences."

Then I discovered the greatest consequence of all: too many details will smother the soul. And the story. My Life Story, like my writing, suffered from boredom brought on by pages of insufferable details that distracted me from my Life's Purpose. I'd lost my soul-connection, that part of me that lit up with delight while contemplating reptilian monsters munching on puff pastry.

By the trial-and-error method, I eventually learned which details were important to my spiritual growth. And I learned these lessons by re-connecting to my interests and passions. In short, I re-connected to my ability to play.

In her book, Deep Play, Diane Ackerman describes the spiritual nature of play:

Swept up by the deepest states of play, one feels balanced, creative, focused. Deep play is a fascinating hallmark of being human; it reveals our need to seek a special brand of transcendence, with a passion that makes thrill-seeking explicable, creativity possible, and religion inevitable.

Re-connecting to my ability to play with words also taught me how to coach my Self. Playing teaches body-emotion-thought patterns that are more in alignment with your Spiritual Nature:

• Playing brings your body patterns into balance.Your posture and breathing changes as you relax into the fun you’re having. You breathe more deeply, smile and laugh often. Your body is moving in the patterns of ‘fun.’

• Playing shifts your emotion patterns by releasing any self-judgment. While playing, you take risks and embrace mistakes, knowing you will learn from those experiences and use the lessons the next time you play.

• Playing focuses your thought patterns on the goal of the game. While playing, you’re not planning how to complete all the tasks you have on your to-do list. You’re not thinking about housework or yard work. Instead, you know what you want and you figure out the best way to get it within the framework of the game.

These body-emotion-thought patterns are the same patterns needed to successfully coach your Self to the kind of life you want. So, by playing every day, you’re strengthening the neural pathways you need to successfully change your life.

This week, add some play-time to your schedule each day and re-connect to your Spiritual Nature.