Self-Coaching Tip: Move Your Body, Change Your Thoughts

For a large part of my life, my Inner Critic often stopped me from learning or doing something new by saying, "I'm not smart enough to learn this." And then, it reminded me of all the subjects in school that I struggled with like math and science. I literally re-lived the pain and embarrassment and confusion of various math and science classes throughout my school years each time I tried to learn something new.

Here was a belief about myself that was not supporting me.

I was convinced that my brain was just ‘too slow’ to understand new ideas. But, my story about ‘being slow’ was only a part of the picture. When I applied self-coaching to look at the whole picture, I discovered a few surprises. Remember, self-coaching includes looking at your body, emotion and thought patterns. Here’s what the whole picture looked like:

• Story/ Thoughts: I’m too slow to learn new ideas.
• Emotions: pain, embarrassment & confusion
• Body: quick, jerky and clumsy movements

For me, being stupid meant being slow. My body movements, however, were anything but slow. My breathing was fast and shallow. My movements (walking, talking, picking things up) were too fast and uncoordinated.

Somewhere along the line, my body, in a constant state of stress, had forgotten the pattern of slowing down. So, I used contrasting movement to learn how to re-gain control of my body. I began by speeding up my breathing and movements and then contrasted that with slower breathing and movements. When I noticed I was racing across the room, I slowed my walking to a crawl before resuming a more normal pace. When I became aware that I was talking very fast, I took a breath and forced myself to speak more slowly. When I recognized that I was racing through housework, I stopped and did it in slow motion for a moment. When I resumed the housework, my movements were more coordinated and graceful.

It only took a few days before I began noticing the difference in my thoughts and reactions to situations. First, my Inner Critic quieted down enough so I could remember that some subjects in school were very easy for me. English, French, and History classes were so much fun for me that they didn’t seem like work. When I came into contact with other people, my thoughts were calmer and I could access many different options in a situation. My responses became more appropriate for the situations and people were being kind, rather than attacking me.

By changing my body movements, I easily and permanently changed my belief about myself. I no longer think of myself as stupid. The thoughts you think about your self are just patterns. They are held in place by emotional and body patterns. And the body pattern is the most predominant pattern. By changing your body’s pattern, by moving it differently, you can change very deep-seated beliefs that no longer serve you.

So, as you begin to coach yourself, don’t use sheer willpower. Move your body and change your thoughts. To find out more about the most effective movements to add to your self-coaching, join our 4-month Spiritual Cross-Training program, risk-free.

Self-Coaching Tip: Your Soul's Desires Activate the Law of Attraction

Sometimes knowing about the Law of Attraction can get you into trouble. You begin to measure your spiritual growth by what you’re attracting into your life. You know, getting the flu means you're harboring less than joyful emotions, lower back pain means you have a poor relationship with money, feeling fear means you're spiritually lacking. You judge what is coming into your life, and subsequently, you judge your self. But Spirit, in it’s infinite wisdom, is sending you exactly what you need to attract what you truly desire.

Here's an example from Belinda Ryan, a Master Spiritual Life Coach:

"While going through a sticky divorce, my lawyer told me I couldn’t sell the house. However, my ex-husband wasn’t paying alimony, my lawyer refused to do any more work until he was paid, and my checking account was overdrawn. I needed the money that selling the house would bring me.

"I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. ‘Why?’ was a question all too available.

"Realizing my question put me in a ‘victim’ place, I asked myself, ‘What can I do for myself in this moment?’

"I broke away from my upset to take a shower. While calming down under the warm water, I remembered to ask myself some more connecting questions such as ‘What do I really want?’

"My answer shocked me: ‘Well, I really want to stay in the house with my children!’"

Get in Touch with What You Truly Want, Not What You Think You Want

The Law of Attraction is always working to bring you what you truly want; not what you think you want. Belinda learned that the Law of Attraction would make it impossible for her to give up what she truly desired even though logic told her she had to sell her house in order to provide for her children.

The Law of Attraction is activated by your desires (emotions). It doesn’t take into account what you perceive as the ‘logical thing to do’ nor does it take into account any judgments you may have about your own desires.

As long as you remain unconscious about your deeply held emotional desires, you feel helpless and powerless to deal with whatever you’re attracting into your life. Only when you have a self-coaching process to bring into conscious awareness your deepest desires can you begin to feel empowered and consciously activate the Law of Attraction.

The most miraculous aspect of the Law of Attraction is that it doesn’t keep score. For example, once you’ve connected in with your Soul’s Desire and gotten clear about what you want, the Law of Attraction goes to work. You don’t have to clear your account of all the times you unintentionally or unconsciously attracted something else.
To Activate the Law of Attraction, You Must Allow in Your Deepest Desires

Allowing is a self-coaching skill that requires specific body, emotion and thought patterns. Once Belinda began to “allow” (stop resisting) her Deepest Desire to stay in the family home even though it appeared financially foolish, the external situation changed immediately.

Belinda’s attorney, who had refused to do any more work for her until he was paid, changed his attitude. He worked to get the back support payments from Belinda’s ex-husband so he could be paid. This also gave Belinda the money she needed to provide for her children.

Over the following months of the divorce proceedings, Belinda realized how much stability she and the children felt because they stayed in the house. If they had moved, Belinda and her children would have had to deal with two major life-changing stresses: moving AND divorce. Staying in the house, a familiar setting, gave them a sense of comfort and security during the major changes that occurred because of the divorce.

Belinda also had a new intention for herself: “I am open to other possibilities so that I can recognize solutions when they arrive instead of remaining blinded by my panic.”


(excerpted from "Spiritual Cross-Training: REAL-izing Your Authentic Power in Today's World)

Gift or Curse?

Loving Greetings,

I'll admit it. When my coach first told me I was an empath, I wasn't happy.

Sure, it explained a lot. Why I felt physically uncomfortable when I was around others. Why I experienced sudden, unexplained emotional highs and lows. Why I felt overwhelmed almost all of the time. Why I preferred being alone most of the time.

But, putting a label on it wasn't helping me feel better. It made me feel more helpless; as if, this 'empath' thing was just one more thing I had no control over. And, while my coach tried to help me, she didn't have many solutions that worked for me.

After several weeks of feeling 'cursed' with this empath condition, it finally occurred to me that maybe I was making myself more miserable with all the stories I was telling myself about 'empaths.' (Most of my stories were based on an old Star Trek episode in which an alien empath was at the mercy of everyone else's feelings -- and I definitely felt like a victim at the mercy of the rest of the world).

Perhaps it was time to explore this 'condition' to find ways to help myself.

That was 10 years ago. There wasn't much on the internet at the time, but it was the start of a miraculous journey of self-healing and empowerment. No longer do I view my empath abilities as a 'curse.' Instead, I embrace the gifts that come with my sensitivities to become a better person, parent, minister, spiritual life coach, and human being.

As I became more empowered as an empath, people began showing up: some as teachers, many as clients. I began sharing with them what I had learned about myself and that sharing not only helped my clients, but also accelerated my own journey to empowerment because I learned as much from my clients as they did from me.

With this blog, I continue my journey. I don't have all the answers for you, but I can share what I've learned. Keep in mind that every empath is different, so not everything will apply to you.

So, let's begin....
I have learned that empaths need out-of-the box solutions to everyday situations in order to live a life of peace and harmony. These solutions include:

• learning how to read your body's sensitivities as guidance and wisdom to increase your options in any situation, reduce overwhelm, enhance your creativity and improve your problem-solving abilities;
• raising your emotional intelligence to reduce your sensitivities, increase your ability for self-healing and helping others without losing yourself in the process;
• tapping into your Spiritual Nature to access the gifts of your sensitivities whenever you like.

Over the next few weeks, I'll discuss these solutions in more detail. I invite you to try them out for yourself. Do what feels good and leave the rest.

Peace and Blessings,
Carolyn



Want to know more before the next posting?

If you're overwhelmed, check out my ebook, Survival Guide for Empaths, Clairsentients and Highly Sensitive Persons

For more information, check out my website: The Care & Feeding of Empaths and HSPs.